Forward

February 25, 2007

"I was always too busy looking back at the world that I came from. Looking back at all the pain and hurt in my life to focus on what could be in front of me.

I was constantly holding on to the suffering because I didn't want to lose touch with what I thought made me. I never wanted to be with someone because from what I saw in the past, we would never be together long.

In my mind, there was no "Forever"

But I did wonder if I would ever get to this part of my life.

I pretty much figured, since I was different, I would have different feelings about stuff like this.

This just shows how normal people like me are. We all want the same things. The thing that I want right now, is to spend the rest of my life with one person.

I want someone to grow old together with. Someone that I can have a future with. I want to be a part of something that is greater than just myself. I want a family, and a house...

On February 20th, 2007, I embarked on that journey.

I asked the man of my dreams ANDREW GARCIA, to marry me. I say man of my dreams because I dreamt about a man just like this. Someone handsome, intellegent, sweet, kindhearted, compassionate, and someone that will put up with all my numerous flaws and imperfections.

In my dreams, I wanted someone who would throw out all the bad stuff from my past and paint me a wonderful future.

How often is it that we get what we long for? Almost never.

I was blessed with a waking dream.

I have been with this man for going on 4 years now and I walk among the clouds because he lifts me higher than I ever thought I could possibly be.

I couldn't let him go, I had to make him my own for the rest of my life. And I am positive that I would die without him.

I feel amazingly complete. Like there isn't anything missing in my life.

And although some people may say that I have changed, I can look them in the eye and say thank you for noticing.

I am different. My priorities have changed. I want different things. And, yeah, I finally grew up...

My direction is oh so clear. I have all these new thoughts and understandings. Going out isn't so important to me anymore. Partying and clublife is just so "whatever" to me. That's not what I look forward to at the end of the week anymore.

Things are just sooooooo different.

I want to spend time working on my family, cuz that's what he is. I want to be able to sit in our home together, and wonder about the next trip, or where we should move to next. I want this to be a success.

I want to lay in bed on cold days, or warm nights and lay in eachothers arms. We can forget about the world, because this one between him and I, is the only world that matters.

In my forever, I want only him.

I look forward to this new adventure. I look forward to all the wonderful things we are going to share together. I look forward to all the memories we are create and share together. I look forward to the day that I say "I Do"

I look foward..."