Some Sort Of Fairytale

So, today..I was told by someone that I was "shady". That perhaps it was put in to question that I was not reliable when it came to "payments". (Let's say that this person is F and he was told by 3 that I was AVOIDING him.)

F didn't say it was true or that he believed it and laughed it off.

I could see that F was only making fun of the situation because he has seen that I have done my part to provide a lifestyle. Not to mention...he and I have a similar understanding on how 3 can be. I have never been without money and am not one to ever tell anyone "NO" when it comes to it. (Especially if you're doing me a favor)

I will be the first to ask someone if they need gas money. I will be the first to pay for entrance so my friends can be around. I will by a round of drinks. I treat my friends when I have the means.

So maybe this person was NOT my friend. I just called him that by association.

I'm not normally one to complain about things like this. I am proud of the things that I have and like to share those things with the people around me. I've never been fake or lied about my life to anyone because my life has made me who I am.

It's obvious to me that if you are in my life, you like who I am. I treat you with respect and have listened to anything you've got to say. My heart is in it.

But because I have heard these things, all these feelings have come out about 3.

3 is a punk for saying these things about me.

He doesn't know me well enough to say things about me like this.

I have sat and listened to his lies, his drama, his complaints. I've watched his life of insanity and allowed him to taint my eyes and ears with disdain.

I feel like....I've actually SEEN him think about the lies to tell.

Lies to make him feel better about himself?? Or so that people wouldn't laugh at him or make fun of him?

I wouldn't do something like that....but he has prompted me to feel that I should.

I feel that I should be the one to tell everyone the truth why he isn't around here anymore.

Just put his shit on blast.

I feel like I should have told him "Shut up! I don't want to hear it anymore. NO ONE DOES! You're like a broken record. YOU are the definition of insanity. If you don't know what I mean LOOK IT UP!" Or maybe "People don't like you all that much. You can't be trusted. Get back to me when you can tell the truth"

But then I just become a part of his show. (Not to mention, momma didn't raise me to be like that)

But I think NOW, when I see him. I won't have the same view of him. I won't want to hug him or smile with him. I won't want to laugh with him or sit and listen to his drama.

If it bugged him, then he should have been man enough to talk to me about it. But to talk about me to someone that is close to me....makes me feel like I have been hanging around with a child. An immature one...one that doesn't quite grasp integrity or responsibility.

What kinda bugs too..is that I have no choice but to deal with him.

He's got little to no long term friends and I think that THAT is going to be a running trend if he continues the behavior.

I've wasted time pondering all his embelishments and confabulations....and conemplate if it's the life he wishes he had, cuz I don't think its ever happened. Not to him OR to anyone. Is he aware of how it sounds to EVERYONE?"

I am truly convinced that he suffers from pseudologia fantastica...that's the perfect diagnosis.

And so, to put it there...I need to get it off my chest.

And if YOU are reading this, then I hope I make my point. It's out there for you to see and read...if you happen to stumble upon it, I can assuredly say that it was NOT by accident. You're just that nosey. I think that you will use this to say something negative about me. But by me never saying whether it is you or not, it will drive you a bit more insane that you already are.

You've lost my respect.

I will tolerate you because I have to.

I will be polite and nothing but the best of who I am around you.

But my feelings about you from here on out are quite clear.

You're a dick. You're drama. You make people sick and tired of hearing about a pain you infllict on yourself. You drive people away because your honesty is deminished by your lack of self respect. I can see you laying in bed satisfied that you made up some amazing adventure to tell people. You NEED other people to validate what you are saying and believe to be true because its not true unless others believe your farce too.

But it's just that...some sordid fairytale.