From the start of my day, to the end of my night, things have been the same for too long.
For the past couple of days, I've decided to take things back to when time wasn't so rapidly passing by with repitition. This is always a difficult understanding and transition to come to.
There are times right now...when I feel so alone. When I want to scream at the top of my lungs just to hear the echo answer back.
There are other times when being alone fits just so perfectly.
I've decided to change things, yet again but this time only to get a better understanding of myself as an individual. Everything that I have surrounded myself with has been something that I have EXTREMELY depended on to make my day feel a little bit more like I mattered. It was a drug that made me feel important, only to wear off at the end of the day and make me feel like I needed more.
So here I am. For a while...trying to kick the habits. Day 4 on this and I find myself with the itch to return to them...but I am a fighter! That is one thing that can never change. If I want something I will have it.
I feel like it's time to clean up my act and glue the pieces back together. I have my laughter, my tears, my sadness and happiness, my friends, my family, my job, my home...all to be thankful for.
My life is pretty much together, there is nothing in this world that I should be complaining about. There are worse things out there in life that are bigger than my problems...
It's like momma always said "Some one out there has it harder than you"...
And so with that there are things that I can let go of for a while, so that MY things aren't hard.
I'm going to shed that last layer of skin, cry that last tear, and be born again....I need to remember what was easy and helped me progress. I am only a hinderance to myself and I need to stop being that. It's time to go back to being the best person I can be.
For the past couple of days, I've decided to take things back to when time wasn't so rapidly passing by with repitition. This is always a difficult understanding and transition to come to.
There are times right now...when I feel so alone. When I want to scream at the top of my lungs just to hear the echo answer back.
There are other times when being alone fits just so perfectly.
I've decided to change things, yet again but this time only to get a better understanding of myself as an individual. Everything that I have surrounded myself with has been something that I have EXTREMELY depended on to make my day feel a little bit more like I mattered. It was a drug that made me feel important, only to wear off at the end of the day and make me feel like I needed more.
So here I am. For a while...trying to kick the habits. Day 4 on this and I find myself with the itch to return to them...but I am a fighter! That is one thing that can never change. If I want something I will have it.
I feel like it's time to clean up my act and glue the pieces back together. I have my laughter, my tears, my sadness and happiness, my friends, my family, my job, my home...all to be thankful for.
My life is pretty much together, there is nothing in this world that I should be complaining about. There are worse things out there in life that are bigger than my problems...
It's like momma always said "Some one out there has it harder than you"...
And so with that there are things that I can let go of for a while, so that MY things aren't hard.
I'm going to shed that last layer of skin, cry that last tear, and be born again....I need to remember what was easy and helped me progress. I am only a hinderance to myself and I need to stop being that. It's time to go back to being the best person I can be.
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