Sigh........
Today, I did something that I haven't done in years. And I KNOW I say that I will do it over and over and over, but I feel as though I may have made a step forward with this.
I have an addiction. Nicotine is this horrible substance. I'm not sure what it does, I mean ;I can gather EXACTLY what it does, but I'd like to claim ignorance..lol
I have been smoking habitualy over the course of 5 years EVERY weekend.
I have attempted to beat the habit by saying that I am not going to "blahblahblah" cuz that's pretty much what it is...just BLAH.
I would stop smoking during the week, but once the weekend came and drinknig began, Franky would buy a pack of cigarettes and get to tokin!
But this week, I didn't smoke at all....well, not since monday. So as of this point, it has been 6 days PLUS a drinking night without smoking.
I didn't know what to do during drinks. I didn't know what conversation I would have, or how I would pass the time during bad music. I didn't know what to do with my hands. It was a HUGE thought process..lol
So as of this point (3 in the a.m.) I am thinking, I don't stink like an ashtray, and there is no thick coat of BLEH on my tongue.
So, if I can make it tomorrow I will have about 6 days under my belt.
If I can make it to Friday, PLEASE WATCH OUT!!! I'm pretty sure that I'll be having a bitchfest of withdrawls.
But for my 30th Birthday, I am giving myself something back...A few years of health. A bit of longevity. A chance to live and see if I will ever get those kids I want or the house I want, or to see my family and friends live as long as I do...I want to grow old with people, so I'm giving myself back a part of my life.
No more Mutant..I mean, no more cigarettes...lol
